We’ve all been there. That moment when our inner voice whispers (or sometimes shouts) that we’re not good enough, that what we’re doing isn’t enough. If you’ve felt this way, you’re far from alone. In fact, an estimated 85% of people grapple with low self-esteem, and those perfectionist tendencies? They’re linked to higher rates of anxiety, depression, stress, and burnout.
When I first started my YouTube channel, I almost didn’t post anything at all. I’d created a few videos, but when it came time to share them, I was overwhelmed with doubt. “These aren’t good enough,” I told myself. “No one will care.” “They’re not ready yet.” “They’re boring.” I eventually mustered the courage to hit that ‘Upload’ button. And you know what? Those very videos—the ones I almost convinced myself weren’t worth sharing—became some of my most successful content.
So I want to share with you the things that worked for me in hopes that you can go back to loving what you create. In this post, I’ll talk about the cost of being stuck in perfectionist tendencies and the many strategies that worked for me to finally start making work that I enjoy again. Bringing back the child in me who just loved to create cool s***. I hope you find it helpful!
The Hidden Costs of Perfectionism and Self-Doubt
Perfectionism and self-doubt often go hand in hand, creating a formidable barrier to personal growth and creativity. But what exactly are we dealing with here. While striving for excellence can be motivating, unchecked perfectionism and self-doubt exact a heavy toll:
- Procrastination: The fear of not meeting impossibly high standards can lead to putting off tasks indefinitely.
- Decreased Productivity: Endless revisions and the inability to declare work “finished” can significantly slow progress.
- Missed Opportunities: Waiting for the “perfect moment” or feeling unready can cause you to miss out on valuable experiences and growth.
- Burnout: The constant pressure to be perfect is exhausting and unsustainable.
- Mental Health Impact: Perfectionism and self-doubt are linked to higher rates of anxiety, depression, and stress.
- Stifled Creativity: The fear of imperfection can prevent you from taking creative risks or exploring new ideas.
- Damaged Relationships: Perfectionism can lead to unrealistic expectations of others and difficulty in collaborating.
Understanding these patterns is the first step toward breaking free from their grip. Recognizing perfectionism and self-doubt in your own life allows you to start challenging these thoughts and developing healthier, more productive mindsets.
In the following sections, we’ll explore practical strategies to overcome perfectionism and self-doubt, helping you move from paralysis to progress in your personal and professional life.
Strategies for Overcoming Perfectionism
If you’re like me and have searched for ways to overcome these thought patterns, you’ve probably come across advice like “Just make it good enough, it doesn’t have to be perfect.” But if you truly don’t believe what you will ever make is good enough, how can you make something that is ‘good’? It took a lot of self exploration and journaling before I realized that a lot of the advice I was listening to wasn’t working. However, eventually I did land on some things that worked for me and this is what they are:
Changing Your Perspective
When you renovate a room, you first have to take everything out of the room and strip it down to bare bones before you can rebuild it. In order to get a new perspective, you first have to break down the one you have. For me, it was the fact that I was so focused on the outcomes of what I was doing and not on the act of doing them.
If all you do is focus on what others might think about what you are doing, you will never enjoy the process. It’s important to shift your focus from that of the outcomes to the actions themselves. But how do you actually do that?
Like any change, it will take time, but let’s say you want to write a best-selling novel. Well, you don’t have control over who buys your book, you don’t have control over which publishers are interested in your book, etc. but the one thing you do have control over is how much you write. Setting a daily writing goal will be far more helpful to you than making your goal to be a best-selling author. Writing each day is an actionable and measurable goal you can do each day and far more manageable.
So your first step should be to change your goals into daily actionable things you can do.
Challenging Negative Self-Talk
Now even with a shift in perspective you are sure to still have negative self talk. That inner critic will still tell you that what you are doing isn’t enough or good. But the problem with it is that most of the time this voice is just trying to protect you from any potential failure you might endure. It’s not trying to hurt you, it’s trying to help you.
When you notice those thoughts coming up and interrupting your work, take a moment to open up a notepad and write them down. What this does is it immediately allows the thoughts to get out of your head to be addressed later. This way you can continue your work. Then, once you have the chance, you can go back into that notebook and start questioning those thoughts. Most of the time our doubt will tell us just about anything to protect us, which means most of the thoughts have very little merit. Questioning these thoughts give them less power in your mind. Here are some questions I used when challenging my thoughts:
- Is this thought helpful?
- What evidence do I have to support or contradict this thought?
- What would I say to a friend in a similar situation?
- Is this thought based on facts or assumptions?
- What is the worst case scenario, and can I handle it?
When I began putting this into practice, I discovered that many of the beliefs I’d held onto for so long crumbled under the slightest scrutiny.
Becoming Friends With Your Inner Critic
Most of the time, your mind is feeding these thoughts out of love. I know it may sound weird because what kind of loving person would say these terrible things to you? But when you think about it, if you want to paint a masterpiece that will be displayed in a museum, your mind will do everything it can to either make that happen or protect you from the possibilities of failure. It’s like a scared kid who is always saying, “what if this happens?” It just wants to be heard and understood.
If you start to approach these thoughts with compassion and understanding, then you may notice they become less harsh and less frequent. Say, “I see you and I understand you want the best for me, but I choose to continue because this is how I improve.” Treat it like you would a friend.
- Don’t Push It Away. Instead, actively listen to it, show it some respect, it is still part of you after all.
- Validate Its Intentions. Recognize it’s just trying to help, even if the methods are a bit harsh and misguided
- Reframe The message. If you hear thoughts like “this will never be good enough” reframe it as something that focuses on progress like “I’m challenging myself to be better, not to be perfect”
Taking Imperfect Action
I was watching a podcast with Hank Green where he was talking about perfectionism and a mindset that he got from Ze Frank. The mindset is this: If it’s in your head, it doesn’t exist – If you do the thing, and it fails, then it isn’t taking up space in your head anymore, and that in itself is a success.
I love this mindset because it not only applies to work we do, but also to the thoughts that our minds generate. At the end of the day, thoughts are just thoughts – they have no power until we give them life through our actions. It is when we put things into action that we actually have the power to change, to learn, and to grow.
Anything can be seen as a success if you see it that way. That project that didn’t meet your expectations? That became a valuable learning experience. That fear you faced becomes a testament to your courage. It’s okay and even encouraged to start small. Take small steps and celebrate each and every step you take. That is the meaning of progress over perfection. You don’t climb a mountain by sprinting to the top. You take it one step at a time. That’s all you need.
What Would You Do If You Couldn’t Fail?
I’m going to leave you with this one question. If you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do? What is it that brings you joy and fulfillment? Take that, apply these tips and just do it. Give yourself permission to try, to fail, to learn and ultimately grow. Everyone has their own unique story and can’t wait to see what you create from it. 🙂